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© Copyright 2000, Jim Loy
I recently decided to try to solve Return to Zork, an adventure game from Infocom (Activision). I had never gotten very far with it before. I dug out the CD, installed it, got a ways into the game, and encountered its copy-protection scheme. It has a school teacher who gives a quiz. The question that stumped me: "What is the first day of the week?" The answer is in the user documentation (the Encyclopedia Frobozica) which came with my CD. Well, I cannot find the damned Encyclopedia Frobozica, and so the damned CD is worthless to me. I bought the damned hint book for $13.45, and it gives no clue: "You do have a legitimate copy of this game, right?" Yes I have a legitimate damned copy of this damned game. I downloaded the Universal Hint System file, and it says to look in the manual. If I were a pirate, I would have photocopied the damned Encyclopedia Frobozica, you idiots. Besides money, this has cost me about 12 hours of frustration, searching for the manual, and searching for help on the Internet.
Of course, these people have legitimate fears that pirates will steal their games and give them away. But copy protection schemes tell the customer, "We don't trust you." And they tell clever kids, "Go ahead, try to break this copy protection scheme." I guarantee that they lose legitimate customers. I think that software companies should say, "Please don't copy this, as it hurts our business." And then, by providing cheap upgrades and good customer support, they will eliminate 90% of all piracy.
By the way, a reader of this page provided me with the days of the week: Sand Day, Mud Day, Grues Day, Wands Day, Birthday, Frob Day, and Star Day. Thank you. Now, where is that disk?